In the not too distant future
somewhere in time and space
Mike Nelson and his robot pals
are caught in an endless chase

Pursued by a woman whose name is Pearl
An evil gal who wants to rule the world
She threw a few things into her purse
and in her rocket ship she hunts him
all across the universe
[I'll get you!]

I'll send him cheesy movies
The worst I can find [La La La]
He'll have to sit and watch them all
and I'll monitor his mind [La La La]

Now keep in mind Mike can't control
where the movies begin or end [La La La]
He'll try to keep his sanity
with the help of his robot friends

[Robot Roll Call]
Cambot! [You're on!]
Gypsy! [Oh, my stars!]
Tom Servo! [Check me out!]
Crooow! [I'm different!]

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
and other science facts [La La La]
Just repeat to yourself it's just a show
I should really just relax
For Mystery Science Theater 30